Parenting is not for the faint of heart. If it was, there wouldn’t be a need for Children’s Therapists, family therapists or the village it takes to raise kids. Over the years I’ve worked as a children and family therapist, I’ve heard time and time again–“I just don’t have the energy,” “I don’t have the time for me,” every time I ask, how are you taking care of you? Inevitably I hear: “I’m a single parent, are you crazy!? By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. My kids suck the life out of me. I just want my kid to get better. I’m not a priority, my kid(s) are.” And the list goes on. When I hear these thoughts, the compassionate therapist heart in me breaks. Because if you could see the benefits of what practicing self-care looks like, it would change your mind completely. Here’s the thing, YOU are a priority and so are your kids. When you make self-care a priority you allow for emotional regulation, mental regulation and mental well-being to take place.
When you practice self-care, you teach your kids that their needs are also important and just because they are kids doesn’t mean they do not need self-care.
Your actions as Parent(s) will be one of the best ways to teach your child(ren) about life. So start small. Start prioritizing and carving in those daily 10 minute windows of time that are strictly for you!
- When the kids end their school day and it’s snack time, eat with them. If you aren’t hungry, sit with them–don’t mindlessly scroll through your phone (leave it out of direct sight & touch).
- Don’t try to complete additional tasks as a “form of self-care.”
- Sit, rest, let your mind and body decompress.
- If you eat a snack or a meal, don’t rush through it just to move on with your day. Eat mindfully, slowly, enjoy and savor what you’re eating. (I know sometimes there will be days you have to rush through those meals, that’s life).
- Enjoy those carved out 10 minute blocks of time, of pure rest and energy refill. It will absolutely feel strange, abnormal and disingenuous to you if you’ve only ever done this once before or not times before.
Like anything we challenge ourselves with, it takes practice which equals consistency. Give yourself grace when you forget and then get back to it! Your self-care, free time and boundaries of holding that micro-moment of self-care is top priority. The more you practice, the easier it will become. The more you practice, the healthier you become so you can continue to be the best Parent your kid(s) deserve!
Happy Healing!
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